LOVE

“Are we sure it really exists. Are we sure that it is a feeling, or maybe a thought. Is it possible that we just make it up, this Love thing, to have a meaning in life.”

You can’t touch Love, but you can feel it. It might seem hard to reach, and you can’t decide over it, whether you want it or not. Sometimes it comes to you. Warm and welcoming, like the sun, it rises, embraces you. It gives a feeling of safety, for a while. It smiles at you; makes you let go and do things on impulse. You stop care about things that before seemed so important. It’s like becoming someone else, another part of you. A more beautiful, harmonious, caring and open you. You dream away, your head in the clouds, for a while you don’t care for anything but your Love.

But just like the sun goes down Love can faint, disappear or die out. Leaving empty spaces in your mind and in the corners of your heart. It can turn your whole world upside-down; make you sad or angry, in total non understanding. Where did it go.. Why and how can Love not last forever, if you once been lucky to have found it. Is that also the way it goes. Away, lost. To another Love. Do you get more then one Love and if.

“How many Loves do one get in a lifetime..”
“Are Love limited..”

My first real Love, perhaps my only Love, came to in my early teenage. So sweet, so lovely, soft and tender. Like when two becomes one. Always together, making each other complete. But then also dark, with unfaithfulness, lies, confusion and trouble. It became consuming and inconvenient. Attraction and passion was soon replaced with argues and fights. This went on and on until theLove was so damaged we broke it of. Along the road came other Loves, small once, almost non meaningful.

It felt like a lifetime past by, and then we found each other again. Somehow we made sense once more, together we were strong. We found comfort, we relied in each other, we had found a way back in to Love. But not for very long. The past caught up with us, poisoned our minds, turned us against each other, leaving cracks all over our Love. Once more we broke it of, in hope to find something better, in hope to find new Love..

But every time we believed to have found something, it turned out not to be Love, but a substitute for trying to move on.. Every time we found ourselves lost in confusion and frustration, because of the Love we just could not get over, we found a way back to each other. Like a pattern it grew and became more and more unreliable, consuming and after a time heartbreaking.

“What had we done with our Love. Did we lose it along the way. Did we kill it. Or did we just not appreciate it.”

Long time has past since that Love first came to us. Still though, the memories, the feelings and the Love that only you and I shared is in my mind, always with me..